On missing the point.

So, I'm diverging a bit from the primary focus of this blog as I vaguely envisioned it, which was to be a platform for sharing my various arts and crafts and food projects. I never have been very good at sticking to a particular format however (those who recall my college radio show may remember that though I initially billed it as goth/industrial in focus, it wandered all over pop, classical, experimental, humorous, blues, jazz, folk, spoken word... pretty much anything that could be played over the radio that was of interest to me - it's just my nature to be eclectic I suppose). Therefore, I have plans for including creations of the mind here (observational essays, theorizing, metaphors), and things I've seen about the place, such as ant swarms, and also cultural criticizms... verging into political commentary. I've gotten partway through a post in that latter vein, in the middle of which I was distracted and haven't returned yet to complete it. Here now is another post of that sort.

ORGANIC

Indeed, it's all the rage now. People have actually started to care about what they put down their throats, and many have come to the conclusion that, though it may cost a dollar or two extra, they'd rather have some assurance that what they are eating is not actually poisoned, thank you very much, and that it maybe even didn't damage fragile and valuable ecosystems while we're at it. The idea of organic agriculture is pretty new... you had that big push in the 70's, which got going really in the 60s, or before, about sustainable agriculture without use of massive doses of synthetic fertilizers, pesticides, herbicides, etc. I'm not going into the whole history lesson here, but I want to point out that that sort of lower impact agriculture was going on for, roughly, 10,ooo years before the 'organic' label was applied. What is now considered 'conventional' agriculture is only a hundred years or so old, and has been practiced on a wide scale only since around World War II. And even only a few decades after the big uptick in such practices people started to realize that maybe this wasn't the best way to grow our food. Of course, the 80s hit and organic was 'out' and, except for a few holdouts, the whole thing took a bit of a hiatus. Now it's caught back on and the organic food industry is growing by leaps and bounds... and it has become an industry. Another term sometimes substituted for 'conventional agriculture' is 'industrial agriculture'. Now there is 'industrial organic', not relying on the chemical products of factories, but relying on industrially processed naturally occuring pesticides, large machines, massive scale fields and processing facilities and so on.

I'm trying not to get too involved here in my discussion since you can get all this stuff from Michael Pollan and such folks. I just want to bring up the fact that once big companies start getting in on organics and environmentalism, the tendancy is for them to do the very least possible to meet the requirements to get the label to be able to charge the premium price and attract the customers attracted by those ideas. There is an ongoing attempt to dilute what it takes to be organic, allow certain synthetic products into the mix, make it easier (and more profitable) for the big guys, so they can better compete with those little guys who've been farming small, sustainable acres, but don't have massive advertising budgets... it's all about open competition right? Anyway, it's a quick step from there to complete perversion of the idea of organic, if not the strict USDA definition (getting less strict). The idea is that it is simpler, healthier for us and the planet, something more like the food our grandparents or great grandparents ate... When you start veering away from those ideas, you sometimes wind up in complete absurdity.

See:


Yep. It's pancake batter in a squirt can. You can make pancakes with just the spritz of a nozzle. And it's organic! It contains all certified organic ingredients, which according to the website is all that is needed to be organic (their definition, cribbed from Merriam-Webster, is on the 'Product Information page). The fact that it comes in a can and is absolutely absurd seems not to phase the makers of this product. The fact that you can make pancake batter yourself with very little effort, out of all organic ingredients if you like, or largely local ones if you like that more (which I do), with far less energy waste (in production as well as transport) and materials waste to boot also does not give them pause. They bring out the old 'convenience' claim, which gave us boxed cake mix and microwave snacks of all description and various degrees of disgustingness.

Really I'm not trying to make much of a point here. This is just a rant against what I see as a stupid and wasteful item cluttering up the supermarket shelves, as well as a mindset that is continuing the same destructive philosophies of the recent past with a shiny new package that people are supposed to feel good about. See also: catalogues full of all the many things you can buy to be more environmentally friendly... I'll save that rant for another day.

AAAAARGH.

When tea goes bad!

... in an intentional, controlled sort of way.

Lately I have been brewing up batch upon batch of kombucha and drinking it daily. For those not in the know, kombucha is a fermented tea beverage which dates back many years (thousands or something), and is reputed to be healthful and beneficial. It is also quite tasty to those who are into sort of yeasty, decayed tea... which I am! Hooray! You can look up more about health benefits and history in the standard repository of all knowledge and wisdom. I will however tell you how to make it yourself, because if you just go buy it in the store it costs $4.00 a bottle, which is quite a lot, and if you make it at home it costs practically nothing.

The initial steps you can do right now if you want. All you have to do is brew some tea. Doesn't matter what kind of tea it is, though those who discuss these things on the internet say that organic is better and unflavored is better and herbal is not so good. Apparently the oils that you tend to get as flavorings in flavored teas such as earl grey (with a soupçon of oil of bergamot) is not very good for the culture that ferments the tea. Do not despair, you can add flavorings later on. So you make your tea... I do it like this: boil 2 or three quarts of water in a kettle (depending on which of my two brewing jars I'm using (a 3 quart and a 4 quart), put a quarter cup of sugar per quart of water in the jar and pour the boiling water into said jar (which should be glass or food grade ceramic, no metals or plastics please) and steep a few teabags (2 bags per quart) or some loose tea (either totally loose in which case you need to strain it, or in a ball or sachet, and... well... enough to brew a decent batch of tea is how much you need). When your tea is brewed to strength after 15 minutes or more depending on how strong you like it, you remove the teabags and let it cool down to at least body temperature (heat kills microorganisms!).

So, now we're at the part that you can't just do right here and now. You need a kombucha mother, alternately known as a kombucha culture, tea beast, SCOBY (symbiotic colony of bacteria and yeast), kombucha mushroom (though as you can tell from the acronym it's not actualy a mushroom). This is a whitish sort of pancake creature that you dump into the sweet tea along with a bit of mature kombucha (about half a cup per quart). The mature kombucha helps suppress unwanted bacteria, and the SCOBY does all the work of eating up the sugars and maybe other stuff in the tea and making it all fermented and nice. You can get one of these things from me if you're in the area. You can order one from one of the kombucha enthusiasts you will find on the internet, like these folks. You can also, I suspect, create one by buying one of those $4.00 bottles of kombucha (unflavored) and pouring it into a jar or bowl, covering with cloth (cheesecloth is what I use, but a clean dishtowel works too, it's just to keep schmutz from drifting in there while still giving the little guys something to breath) and sticking it in a warm place for a few days. Hopefully a solid sort of film should form on the surface and that's your SCOBY.

Once your SCOBY has been introduced to your tea you just cover with cloth, snap a little rubber band round the lip to hold the cloth on and leave it sit somewhere for a few days to a week or so. Maturation time depends on the temperature (up in the 80s is ideal for the kombucha, but not so much for a human home... if you have a warm attic you can put it up there if you think you won't forget it). It also depends on how much sugar you want left, if you leave it a long time it basically becomes vinegar as all the sugar is devoured. You can also kill your culture if you deprive it of food by forgetting it up in the attic for a few weeks. You can just sip a bit out of the jar now and again to see how it's doing and when you decide it's how you like it, pour off the now mature kombucha into various smaller jars, also of glass or ceramic, but with lids. You'll notice you actually have two SCOBYs now, the original you put in and a new one. You can use either or both of these for your next batch, either right away, or stored for a bit in the fridge along with enough of the mature kombucha for your next batch (it'll keep for weeks, though you might want to toss it a bit of sugar if it'll hang out a long time... the cold slows the metabolism of the culture quite a bit though). You can also toss one in the compost or garbage if you have no compost. You can feed it to your dog apparently, or I guess you could eat it yourself if you're feeling daring.

Now. Flavors. you can pretty much flavor your kombucha how you like at this point. Just add flavor agents to the jars into which you've poured your kombucha (save some pickle or spaghetti sauce jars, or salad dressing bottles, or whatever). You can use flavoring oils, spices, dried or fresh fruit, jam, chopped up ginger. Sky's the limit! Be creative! I really like it with a handful of dried cranberries, left sit in the fridge a couple days to infuse the whole jar. Ginger is great. Strawberry rhubarb is lovely in season. Chai spices are very nice... there are many options.

I think that's everything I know about making kombucha... I suggest you try one of the $4.00 bottles first to see if you even like it, or if a friend makes it, try some of theirs. No point making a big batch which you won't drink. I have a glass or two every day and I'm feeling fine. It's part of a balanced breakfast as they say. As a safety and comfort note, if you have a particularly strong batch, say you left it fermenting a bit longer than usual, or it stayed in the fridge while you were on vacation as it does continue to ferment even refrigerated, I'd advise not drinking large amounts (more than a teacup-full) at one time as it could cause some stomach upset, as could, perhaps, drinking a large amount right off the bat.

Clean your equipment (jars) with hot water and dish soap. Hand washing is fine. Keep an eye out for mold growth. I haven't had any trouble with it myself. It'll look like mold. You get some carbonation in your brewing, and hence some bubbles at the surface which can appear, at first glance, to be mold spots, but it should be obvious if there's a problem, in which case you just have to dump the batch and start over, cleaning the jar very very well. If you're really concerned you can boil your jars (make sure they're canning grade material).

So, a note about effects.

When I first started drinking kombucha daily, and again after I took a couple weeks off of regular consumption due to travelling and then restarted regular doses, I noticed a change in my dreaming. I don't know if this happens to anyone else, but it happened to me and seemed to be associated with the kombucha. It wasn't anything bad and it only lasted a few days. I just noticed my dreams seemed a lot more vivid and, how to say... action packed than usual. The dreams had much more of a continuous story arc than I usually get, or recall anyway. They also really seemed like they could almost be Hollywood blockbusters. Zombie apocalypse stories and heist adventures among the criminal class... it was odd. My dreams are usually more fragmented and surreal. I don't know if this will happen to anyone else, but, well... you're introducing a new, odd thing into your body and it may affect your brain a bit.

So that's my long post about kombucha.

In other news, I went to the doctor for a physical yesterday. I am pretty much doing fine, but he recommended I listen to this guy:

Doctor's orders.